


The Solicitor on the Roof

by ATwistOfLemonLyman



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, F/M, Fiddler On The Roof - Freeform, Musicals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-11-30 18:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11469078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATwistOfLemonLyman/pseuds/ATwistOfLemonLyman
Summary: A bit of a crackfic combining Downton Abbey and The Fiddler on the Roof, enjoy! AU. (Originally posted on my ff dot net account in 2013)





	1. I'll Be Unhappy All My Days

March 1912

* * *

Robert's head was splitting after the night he'd had with Cousin James. They had spent the night celebrating what had finally become official, Mary and Patrick's engagement.

Robert cringed as he remembered about the previous night's events (at the Grantham Arms of all places!) and continued to try to ignore the pain that was throbbing in his head while he sat eating his breakfast and perusing the paper.

Robert heard the click of footsteps approaching and as he looked up he saw Mary enter the room

"I see you're up early," Robert said with a smile. "Is your Mama taking you to London to look for a dress today?" inquired Robert. Cora had gone on and on about finding the perfect dress for Mary after Patrick had announced their engagement yesterday afternoon.

Mary did not answer him and instead looked down at her hands that were fiddling with her long necklace. There was something wrong.

"Mary is something the matter?"

Mary's dark eyes looked up at Robert.

"Papa, I can't marry Patrick, I simply can't."

He couldn't possibly have heard correctly.

"What do you mean you can't?"

Mary hesitated.

"I won't marry him Papa," she said firmly.

Mary had always been a contrary girl but this was going too far, Robert felt the anger rising in him, he smashed the newspaper he had been holding in his fist and slammed it against the table (he winced at the sound, and he hoped Mary hadn't seen it).

"You won't marry him? Not too long ago you agreed to this arrangement. You have always wanted what would have been rightfully yours if you'd been a boy and now it can be if you marry Patrick, all of it, the money, the estate, the title, it's all yours to take and now you say you don't want any of it" he shouted.

Mary behaved uncharacteristically and flinched at Robert's words. Robert was even more surprised when he saw tears beginning to form in his daughter's eyes.

"Papa, please, I'll be unhappy all my days," she whispered.

"Oh my darling girl," said Robert as he walked toward Mary and took her in his arms.

* * *

 


	2. They Gave Each Other a Pledge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any dialogue that sounds familiar was taken directly from The Fiddler on the Roof, the characters are from Downton Abbey, the only thing that is mine is the AU nonsense ;)

 

"It seems you were never meant to have what should have been yours to begin with," Robert whispered sadly into his daughter's dark hair as he held her close.

There was a sudden commotion outside the door. Robert could hear the low rumble of Carson's voice followed by another familiar voice.

"I'm sorry Carson but this is urgent, there's really no need to announce me."

The door swung open revealing his young cousin Matthew.

Robert felt Mary quickly pull away from his embrace and watched as she hastily began to wipe away any trace of the tears that had been shed. She looked shocked but oddly happy about Matthew's sudden appearance and the poor boy on the other hand looked incredibly flustered, his breathing erratic as if he had run all the way from Crawley House, he was impeccably dressed but there were specks of mud on his shoes and his mop of blond hair was as messy as it had been when he'd been a boy in short pants climbing trees with Mary

"Cousin Robert, I must speak to you," the young man stated without preamble.

"I'm sorry Matthew but this really isn't the best time, there are some… things that have just come up that need to be dealt with."

Matthew turned to look at Mary, as if he knew what Robert was talking about, but how could he, wondered Robert.

"Well you see that's exactly what I've come to talk to you about."

"Is it?"

"Y-yes," stammered Matthew.

Like Matthew's messy hair that stammer hadn't made an appearance in years, not since the boy had finally settled after his family's move to Yorkshire and Mary had helped him get rid of it.

Robert sighed, with his head the way it was and with a promise to break he was in no mood to deal with a stammering young man in muddied shoes.

"I'm very sorry Matthew, but as I said, this isn't really the time or place for conversations of any sort, there are matters that must be taken care of at once."

Mary who had made her way towards Matthew was now standing beside him.

"Papa, it wouldn't hurt to listen to what Cousin Matthew has to say, please, won't you let him speak."

How long could this possibly take, James could wait, he was probably still in bed or nursing an aching head.

"Very well," sighed Robert.

Mary gave Robert a small smile then turned to look at Matthew.

"I-I heard about M-mary's engagement- to C-cousin Patrick," the boy managed to force out.

"Yes, I'm certain the entire county has heard of it by now," Robert answered, looking pointedly at Mary who had the decency to at least not look as defiant as he knew she was capable of.

"W-well you see, she can't marry C-cousin Patrick, there's someone else who I'm sure you would agree would be a far better match," said Matthew, the stammer slowly starting to fade.

Robert had a feeling he knew where this conversation was leading. He was certain that it would not have taken him quite so long to realize why Matthew was at the Abbey in the state he was in if his brain hadn't been addled by all that he'd consumed the previous night.

"And who is the man who would be a better match for my daughter," questioned Robert, feeling quite certain that he already knew the answer.

"I am."

"You," Robert said a little louder than he had intended to.

"Y-yes."

The boy was frightened out of his mind but at least he was facing Robert, he'd give him credit for that.

Good God, Cora would skin him alive. She'd warned Robert that this would happen, that letting Mary spend so much time with her poor relation would lead to this sort of attachment and of course Robert hadn't cared because he'd liked young Matthew like a son even before it had begun to look like he'd never have a boy of his own. Yes, he loved the boy dearly but this just wouldn't do.

"You expect me to allow this? To allow my daughter, the eldest daughter of an earl, to marry a poor solicitor? Matthew, my dear boy, I care for you as my own but how do you expect to support Mary in the lifestyle she is accustomed to? This just isn't done my boy, it isn't done."

Once again Robert had done a terrible job of regulating the volume of his voice, he was certain that he had woken up the entire household, his poor head felt like it was going to explode, and Mary and Matthew had backed away from him during his tirade.

Matthew slowly stepped forward and looked Robert in the eyes.

"Times are changing Cousin Robert, I may be a poor solicitor now but I won't always be. Mary understands what she'll be giving up by marrying me and I'll do my best to see she wants for nothing. You see Cousin Robert, over a year ago Mary and I gave each other our pledge that we would marry!"

Mary turned sharply to look at Matthew, looking at him as if he had said too much, as if he had divulged a secret and a look of guilt crossed Matthew's face, he hadn't intended to speak that final sentence.

Over a year, they'd pledged to marry each other over a year ago.

Robert's head refused to stop spinning.


	3. I Don't Remember Growing Older, When Did They?

_**Previously:** _ _"...you see Cousin Robert, over a year ago Mary and I gave each other our pledge that we would marry!"_

_Mary turned sharply to look at Matthew, looking at him as if he had said too much, as if he had divulged a secret and a look of guilt crossed Matthew's face, he hadn't intended to speak that final sentence._

_Over a year, they'd pledged to marry each other over a year ago._

_Robert's head refused to stop spinning._

* * *

"You gave each other a pledge," Robert said half to himself.

Mary now looked like the young woman (no, not young woman, she was a grown woman now) he knew, she stood tall beside Matthew, her eyes were dry of all tears, her mouth set in a firm line, her eyebrows arching majestically.

"Yes Papa, we gave each other a pledge," she stated firmly.

Matthew turned to look at Mary and taking her hand in his own gently pulled her closer to him.

The boy was transformed

Gone was the shy knock-kneed 7-year-old who hid behind his mother's skirts, his stammer (almost) gone.

In that little boy's stead was a grown man.

When had he become so tall, wondered Robert, he was certainly taller than Reginald had been and almost as tall as Robert himself.

He was a bright man too, Matthew had done wonderfully at Oxford and now Robert never ceased to hear how brilliant, ambitious, and hard-working his young cousin was from the partners of Matthew's law firm and Robert believed them, they were unimpressed by nobility and would have no reason to lie to Robert about Matthew's progress.

"But my boy, your only a poor solicitor," was Robert's weak argument, how could he truly believe that after remembering all that was said about Matthew's work at the firm.

Matthew's bright blue eyes became stormy.

"That's true Cousin Robert, but even a poor solicitor is entitled to some happiness," shouted Matthew, adopting Robert's earlier tone.

Despite his stammering start Matthew looked more sure of himself now than when he had first entered.

Mary looked as shocked as Robert felt but also looked far more pleased as a bright smile appeared on her face.

"As I said earlier, I may not be able to give her all that she has here at the Abbey but I swear to you I will provide for her."

He's even beginning to talk like a man, thought Robert, his lips twitching as they threatened to turn his frown into a smirk.

Seeing Matthew standing beside Mary looking as though they'd been made for each other Robert knew they'd get married with or without his and Cora's blessing despite how much they obviously wanted it.

They loved each other, they belonged together. There was only one course of action, there was also only one real problem.

Cora.


	4. From Such Children Come Other Children

Clad in his pyjamas Robert was sat in the bed he shared with his wife waiting for O'Brien to finish helping Cora prepare for bed.

Robert had spent the majority of his day desperately trying to decide the best way of breaking the news to his wife that the wedding she had been dreaming of would have to go through a change in cast.

He'd tried to think of the right time, place, and way to tell Cora. He'd thought about it while he'd gone off to inspect the estate, during luncheon, while he went over the accounts, while he (pretended to) read, all through dinner (he knew Mama had noticed his mind was occupied, thankfully she'd said nothing), and during James's inane chatter while they smoked their after-dinner cigars.

How would Robert convince Cora that allowing Mary to break her engagement with Patrick was the right thing to do? Cora had been pushing for this arrangement since Mary and Patrick had been children; the money, estate, and title in one neat little package for her daughter's children to inherit. But Mary did not love Patrick, how could she when she had been attached at the hip to Matthew since they had been children.

It had all started in 1896 and the blame could be placed squarely on the shoulders of Robert's father. That was the year that the Downton Village Cottage Hospital had become his father's pet project (before this his pet project had been working on the Crawley family tree, Robert was certain that what his father had discovered about one of his living relatives in particular led to his sudden interest in creating a hospital).

Robert's father had the hospital built, made sure it was staffed, and saw to the hiring of a Scot by the name of Richard Clarkson. Just when it seemed the hospital was ready to open its doors to the people the Earl had decided that though the Scottish fellow seemed competent he would need help, and who better than a relation of the Earl's, a Dr. Reginald Crawley currently living in Manchester.

Quite used to his father's schemes (like tying up Cora's money, among other things) Robert saw no use in protesting the hiring of another doctor even if it didn't seem necessary, the hospital was, after all, his father's idea so he might as well hire who he wished.

Robert's mother, Lady Grantham, had kicked up quite a fuss about the hiring of this distant relation. What did her husband really know of this Dr. Crawley, it was no good to have ones poorer relations underfoot, it was bad enough having James and Patrick around the Abbey for so much of the year, Robert's mother had protested.

The old Earl had as usual ignored his wife's protests. They were Crawleys, they ought to be close to the rest of the family, he'd heard good things about Dr. Crawley's work and advances in the field of medicine, and his wife was even a nurse (Lady Grantham had rolled her eyes rather violently at this, she was however pleased to hear that Mrs. Crawley's father had been knighted for services rendered), they'd be perfect for the hospital, the 4th Earl had countered.

And so Dr. Reginald Crawley and his small family came to Downton by way of Manchester.

Dr. Crawley and his seven year-old son resembled Robert and his father enough that there could be no denying they were related.

The doctor was an affable and intelligent man, his wife though a little more difficult to get along with was a kind woman who was generous with her time and talents and quite the nurse, and everyone had been rather taken by the boy.

Matthew Crawley was a handsome little chap with bright blue eyes and had been terribly well-spoken (especially for a boy his age and despite the stammer that tripped his tongue), he was however rather shy and had stuck close to his parents. Mary had become entranced by her golden-haired cousin and had even gone as far as to thank her Grandpapa for bringing Matthew to Downton as if the boy had been brought to Downton as a gift just for her.

Mary already had a strong character by the tender age of five. She had taken it upon herself to make sure Matthew would fit into her world. The shy boy couldn't help but gravitate toward the vivacious Lady Mary and with her help over the years he had managed to overcome his stammer and he became as much a part of life at Downton as Robert's immediate family.

Even though she was one of the many people that liked Matthew, Cora had always discouraged Mary spending too much time with him (she especially disliked all the tree-climbing they did, Mary ruined so many dresses that way) but Robert couldn't seem the harm, Matthew Crawley was a good boy and while his family was decidedly middle class he didn't see what was wrong with Mary playing with Matthew. Besides, Matthew seemed to get along quite well with the sort of people Mary was expected to associate with and in fact many a debutante's mother had lamented the fact that he was a Doctor's son as it was really the only thing impeding them from thrusting their daughters at him.

Robert knew he had been a fool for not realizing what the 16 years Mary and Matthew had spent together would lead to, of course it hadn't helped that Robert still saw them as children, but from such children come other children (so he'd better see to it that they got married before it came to that!).

Robert rubbed his temples, an idea was beginning to form in his head. Robert couldn't help but chuckle when he finally decided what to do, he'd have to remember to thank his American mother-in-law for being so taken by spiritualists (she'd gone as far as to name her daughter after the medium Cora Hatch) and in turn making Cora believe in a great deal of that tommyrot. Robert knew how much stock his wife put into dreams and spirits, so a spirit-filled dream he would have!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In THIS universe Cora is named after Cora L.V. Scott, a 19th/20th century American medium. I decided to make Martha a fan of spiritualism because of a lot of Shirley MacLaine's (actress who plays Martha Levinson) interests in things like reincarnation and New Age spirituality and because it fits in perfectly with all the stuff that's going to happen in the next chapter.


	5. Tell Me What You Dreamt and I'll Tell You What it Meant

Cora was finally settled in bed, her eyes were closed and a soft smile was on her face. Robert knew exactly why his wife was smiling, thoughts of a daughter well-settled, visions of a perfect wedding, a little grandson who would one day be Lord Grantham. He hated to have to spoil all her plans and to use Cora's superstitions against her but Robert would have to go through with his plan for Mary and Matthew's sake.

After an entire day spent waiting Robert would have to wait just a little more, just long enough for it to seem that he too had fallen asleep and had been asleep long enough to have the ghastly nightmare.

A few hours passed before Robert felt the time was right, he closed his eyes, said a small prayer begging God to let everything go as Robert hoped, and began to toss and turn.

"Help!" he murmured, Cora was a light sleeper so he needn't be loud at this point, the tossing and turning was enough to do the trick.

Robert felt Cora shoot up like a bolt of lightning.

"Robert!" Cora hissed, trying to shake him awake.

"Help, help," he said, louder than before.

"Robert, what is the matter? Are you dreaming about the war?"

Bloody Boers, thought Robert trying hard not to scowl.

"Mary… help," he shouted, not loud enough to wake the household but enough to alarm Cora. Calling out Mary's name would worry her more than the Boers that occasionally made an appearance in Robert's dreams.

"What is the matter with you? Wake up!" Cora urged as she continued to tug at his nightclothes

Robert's eyes began to flutter open.

"Where are they?" asked Robert in a gravely tired voice.

"Where is who? What are you talking about?"

"Edith! And Patrick too! Where are they? They were standing here a minute ago, where are they?" he looked around the room for effect.

"What are you talking about Robert? I'm sure they are quite comfortably asleep in their own rooms, why would Edith and Patrick be here? You were dreaming Robert."

Cora began to smooth the bedclothes and settled herself against the headboard.

"Now, tell me what you dreamt and I'll tell you what it meant."

She was swimming quite near the bait now.

"It was terrible Cora darling, absolutely terrible."

"Tell me," she insisted.

"Alright, but don't be frightened and do not read too much into this, it was only a dream after all," he said.

His wife rolled her eyes but he knew she would not heed his warning, she  _would_  be frightened, and she  _would_  read far too much into the nightmare he had concocted.

And so Robert began his tale.


	6. The Solicitor, Matthew Crawley

"In the beginning, I dreamt we were having… a celebration of some sort, here at the Abbey. Everybody we knew… all of our beloved departed, were there. All of them. Even Marmaduke was there, and your Cousin Rachel, and my Great Uncle Matthew was there. And in the middle of the dream, in walks my grandmother Mary, may she rest in peace."

"Granny Mary? How did she look?" Cora asked excitedly. She had always liked Robert's paternal grandmother who unfortunately had passed a way a year after Cora and Robert had married. Robert felt like a scoundrel using his Granny's memory like this but she would have liked the great-granddaughter who was named after her and she would have wanted her to be happy even if it meant marrying a middle-class solicitor.

"For a woman who has been dead so many years, she looked very well. Naturally I went up to greet her. And this is what she said..."

* * *

"A blessing to you both, such good luck, such good luck! To see a daughter wed, what a joy, what a joy! And such a son-in-law, like no one ever saw, the solicitor Matthew Crawley!"

Everyone around Granny Mary nodded, their pale faces smiling.

"Matthew?" interrupted Cora.

"A worthy boy is he, what a joy, what a joy. A smart and handsome boy, they named him after my dear husband's brother Matthew*, your young solicitor Matthew Crawley."

"The solicitor? She has been misinformed, she must have meant Patrick."

"I'll tell her," said Robert. "You must have heard wrong Granny, there's no solicitor."

"What?"

"You mean Cousin Patrick, Granny, Cousin James's son."

"No, no, no. I mean another Cousin, dearest Robert," said Granny Mary, shaking her cane at Robert, forcing him to move back. "My great-grandchild, my little Mary who you named for me, Matthew's bride was meant to be."

The spectral guests began to dance joyously around the former Crawley matriarch echoing her the words of joy and luck while the deceased from Cora's side of the family shouted mozel tov, mozel tov*.

"For such a match I prayed, in heaven it was made. A fine, upstanding boy, a comfort and a joy, our Cousin Matthew Crawley!"

"Let me explain," Robert said, though it was impossible for him to be heard over the noise of the family rejoicing.

"Stop it!" shouted a flustered Cora. "We announced it already! The whole village knows by now. We made a promise to James and Patrick!"

Granny Mary and the rest of the guests ignored Cora. "A blessing on your house, such good luck, mozel tov. Imagine such a spouse, what a joy, mozel tov! And such a son-in-law, like no-one ever saw. The solicitor Matthew Crawley!"

"Stop them!" urged Cora, furious that her daughter's ancestors would not listen to reason.

"Listen to me! He works at the Foreign Office!"

"Tell them!" Cora shouted when they continued to ignore her husband.

"His name is Patrick Crawley!" shouted Robert but it was quickly followed by "The solicitor Matthew Crawley," as he was swept away by the chanting of the Crawleys and Levinsons.

"Silence! Shah! Silence! Shah!" came a shout from the edge of the graveyard.

"Look! Who is this? Who is this? Who comes here? Who? Who? Who? Who?"

There was a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder that sent a horse bolting from the gravesite.

"What woman is this? By jealous anger shaken? Could it be - certainly - why not? Who could be mistaken?"

A woman standing by the edge of the graveyard came floating toward Robert and Cora at a frightening speed.

"It's your daughter Edith come from the land of the living!" cried one side.

"Here she comes," cried the other.

"It's your darling neglected second daughter. Edith Crawley, Edith Crawley, Edith Crawley!" they all cried out in unison before an inhuman howl pierced the cold cemetery air.

"Papa!" shouted Edith. "What is this I hear of Mary wedding my beloved Patrick?"

"Her beloved Patrick!" echoed the Crawleys.

"Would you do this to your very own flesh and blood?"

"Your own flesh and blood!" repeated the Levinsons.

"Have you no consideration for your daughters' feelings?"

"Daughters' feelings!" the entire family shouted in unison.

"Handing Mary over as if she were chattel to my darling Patrick!"

"Her darling Patrick!"

"How can you allow it? How can you let Mary take my place, all for this house, for the estate, a coronet? How?" shouted Edith with a fury that she had never displayed before.

"How can you give her away just for this house, for the estate, a coronet?"

"Such a loving man like my Papa would never let it happen. Tell me it isn't true and then I wouldn't worry."

"Wouldn't worry."

"Say you didn't give your blessing to my sister's wedding! Let me tell you what would follow such a fatal wedding."

Quite suddenly all the inhabitants of the Crawley plots and their Levinson guests stopped their movements and moaned piteously.

"Silence!"

Everyone stood perfectly silent, waiting for Edith's next words. Cousin Patrick suddenly came into view and stood stiff and silent by Edith.

"If Mary weds our Cousin Patrick. I pity them both," Edith hissed. "She'll live with him three weeks, and when three weeks are up, I'll come to her by night, I'll take her by the throat, and this I'll give your Mary, that I'll give your Mary! This I'll give your darling Mary!"

Having never seen Edith behave in such a violent manner a frightened Robert and Cora ran from their cackling daughter and found themselves forced to jump into an empty grave.

"Here's my wedding present if she marries Patrick Craaaaawley," shouted Edith as she thrust a handful of black earth down at her parents and everything went black.

* * *

"Oh what a dark and dreadful dream my darling!" said Robert's trembling wife. "And all because we've promised Mary to Patrick!"

Cora took a moment to collect herself before continuing.

"Robert, if your grandmother Mary, may she rest in peace, took the trouble to come visit you in your dreams to tell us about the solicitor all I can say is that it's for the best. It couldn't possibly be any better."

"But Cora-" protested Robert, trying desperately not to laugh (he was so very close to the finish line now!).

"No buts Robert darling, there will still be a wedding and she'll still be a Crawley, a poor one, but still, that's how it will be," she said with an air of finality.

Cora began to settle in for bed for a second time that night and before she dozed off Robert heard her say, "it seems I named her well, she wouldn't have her Laurie so she's found her Professor Bhaer instead,*" a grin larger than the one she had gone to bed with the first time was spread across her face.

Robert smirked as he began to make himself comfortable in his bed.

"It seems I may have missed my true calling on the stage," thought Robert before sleep claimed him and this time he did dream (and such happy dreams!) of a dark-haired Robbie and golden-haired Reggie, with their solicitor father's eyes and their Mama's smile, playing with their old Grandpapa.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The first cousin of Reginald Crawley's grandfather (Robert's Great-Uncle and Reginald Crawley's 1st cousin twice removed) is named Matthew in this alternate universe and our young solicitor Matthew was named after him
> 
> *I'm pretty sure that in canon Cora's family is Jewish so I decided to keep that since it fits in quite well with this story
> 
> *I believe that is stated somewhere in DA canon (though probably not in an actual episode) Mary got the middle name Josephine from Josephine March, a character from Little Women (a favorite book of Cora's), who instead of marrying the wealthy Laurie ends up marrying the poor Professor Bhaer.


End file.
